shipwrecked

Traveling

In the last two weeks we have driven across Virginia, North and South Carolina, Georgia and we are now in Florida.  Along the way we have stopped at the homes of friends who have treated us like family (at least the kind of family you enjoy) and more than once I have felt spoiled. I walked through the Redskin's training facilities in Virginia, kayaked on a lake in North Carolina,  took a gander at some really cool pictures in an art gallery in Georgia, and stood at the sight where our friend was attacked by a swarm of bees in Florida (he has 237 reasons to avoid bees from now on).  It has been a blessing to catch a glimpse of each of our friends' lives and see how God is moving.  God's movement is always good but often takes place in dark or confusing circumstances.  Sometimes it feels like God is camouflaged in this world, certainly there but hiding.  Why doesn't he just step into the open?  

This morning I decided to go for a walk and being in Florida I had some different options than usual.  I walked down to a park and then followed a wooden pathway built a couple of feet off the ground that snaked its way through a forest/swampy area.  I saw birds as bright red as Christmas wrapping paper, a praying mantis as small as the tip of my finger, and a handful of branch hopping lizards.  I was poised at every corner to see a snake but with disappointment and joy I never did.  Most of these animals I would have walked right past except for two things - I was quiet and they moved.  I think maybe seeing God is a bit like this, he is always there but an unhurried spirit and his own movement makes seeing him a lot easier.  After the walk I sat at a bench next to a pond where I am told an alligator lives, needless to say I didn't sit with my back to the water.  I read John chapter 9 and found these words from Jesus, "I came into the world to bring everything into the clear light of day, making all the distinctions clear, so that those who have never seen will see, and those who have made a great pretense of seeing will be exposed as blind."    In Jesus, God did step out into the open.  I realized (again) this morning that seeing God was less about him being camouflaged and more about me having my vision corrected. 

Belly Full

You know that really thankful feeling that sweeps over you when things are just surprisingly good - like when you find $20 in your old jeans pocket or you go shopping and the one item you need is on sale.  This week as I sat at my brother's kitchen table and enjoyed a wonderful dinner and then sank my spoon into a "love it" size cup of coffee ice cream from Cold Stone I was once again feeling thankfulness swell up within me.  I wish I could tell beautiful stories of my thankfulness in the midst of the heat of trouble but usually I am running for the cool shade.  The other day I was sitting outside, under a large table umbrella, and I was reading some of the Gospel of John.  I came across the familiar story of Jesus feeding the five thousand (chapter 6) yet this time my eyes were drawn to the line - "as much as they wanted" (verse 11 ).  It was enough to test the disciples' faith just for Jesus to ask them to feed the crowd, honestly it seemed ridiculous. But after the help of a little boy and Jesus giving thanks to the Father, things get moving.  Really I would be impressed if Jesus gave them each a bread and fish "snack pack" and sent them on their way. But instead Jesus offers them a whole belly full and still has a basket of bread left over for each disciple (interestingly, there was no left over fish, probably had to eat it before it got smelly).  Jesus didn't just give them what they needed but all they wanted.  This may be a one time case and certainly it leads to what happens next in the story but I can't help but think of the joyful almost ornery (verse 6) smile on Jesus' face as he overwhelmed people with his goodness.  The very next day Jesus challenges the people to eat the heavenly bread that is also available.  All this to say I am thankful for God's generosity.   It comes in many ways and this week I saw it in IHOP pancakes, french vanilla Coffee Mate, and in my nephew's smile - things I can't find in Malta, but then again His generosity has its own form there.

 

A few weeks back we went abseiling or repelling.  When I got my turn (David, a student, is in this picture) to drop down the small cliff I tried to go slow and really soak up the experience and the view.  Right now instead of slowing down we are speeding up but we are still trying to take in the view. We are just a few days away from being at my brother's home.  It is hard to describe how we feel and saying we are excited just doesn't capture the whole picture. This past week of preparation has allowed us to look back and look forward and we have so much to be thankful for.  If describing ourselves as feeling excited is insufficient, then saying we are thankful is really only the starting point.  It is tough to talk about thankfulness and not sound like you are trying to write a hallmark card or something.  But I have found I am a whole different person when I'm thankful, somehow the kingdom of God is so much more alive within me when I am thinking in a thankful way. 

Girly Stuff

 One of my American friends here in Malta came over with her kids today and we spent quite a while (can't admit how much time) watching our wedding videos and looking at wedding pictures.  I know, super girly.  It was fun to see her and her husband in a different way.  They met in high school as well and looking at high school photos and seeing their wedding gave me a look at what they are/were like in their "element."  As we watched Cam and I's video it was fun to see our friends and family again.  But I was most interested in how we have changed and who we have become.  Eve and I talked about this afterward.  There is something about living in a foreign country that gives you a certain amount of freedom.  Nobody has preconceived ideas about who you are - well they probably do but you don't know what they are.  God has brought me on a new journey filled with his grace.  His grace to be who I am.  We are getting ready for our summer in the States and I think it will be really interesting to see our family and friends and to see how they have changed and how we have changed.  I wonder if the newfound freedom to just be me will stick when I re-enter former social networks.  I hope so.  If you notice that I have started to compare myself to others do me a favor and remind me of God's grace, I'll know what you're talking about!
Shan

Manchester United & David Cook

So, last night after church I came home and quickly found a way to watch the Final of the UEFA Champion's League.  It was a tight match between Man United and Chelsea.  I don't follow the English Premier League so I didn't really care who won.  And I only knew a few players on United's team and only one on Chelsea.  As the penalty kicks began I must say that I was kind of glad Chelsea was going to have a chance to win it.  And I was really excited for John Terry to have the opportunity to win the game for his team.  When he slipped and missed his shot I felt terrible for him.  Anyway, after the game I watched Tuesday night's American Idol finale.  I really like David Cook's style much better than David Archuleta but as a singer David Archuleta is pretty much flawless.  I don't know if I have heard him hit a bad note.  Cook on the other hand made me rather sad when he ruined Switchfoot's "Dare You to Move" last week.  After watching the competition Cam said, "If Archuleta loses it will be like Chelsea losing."  Sure enough I woke up this morning to find out that Cook won and he won big.  So now that these important events are over I can focus on going back to the States.  Who were you cheering for?
Shan

Mystery Solved

As my friend Vanessa reported, the case of the mystery man at the prayer room has been solved.  He came again on Saturday and we found out that he attends another church here on the island and is Maltese.  Because there were a few others that I didn't know I asked if we could go around and introduce ourselves and share a little.  He started and said that he had been a believer for a year now.  He was asked to share his testimony and this started a trend where we all shared our background and how we came to know Jesus personally.  It was very encouraging to hear from so many and especially for me to hear from some Maltese about how God changed their life.  One thing that intrigued me the most was that almost every Maltese said that what first interested them was the joy and peace they saw in the lives of believers they knew.  One went on to say, "I used to worship a Jesus who lived.  Now I worship a Jesus who is alive." 

This reminded me of the day Acacia came home and said she knelt before and kissed the statue of the baby Jesus at school.  She wasn't sure about it, since it was Jesus after all, and she didn't want to have to say something in front of everyone.  Later in a meeting with her teacher I told her what I explained to Acacia.  "The reason we don't want you kissing the statue has nothing to do with it being part of the Catholic tradition here in Malta. It is because Jesus is alive.  We want you to understand that Jesus is alive.  He is not a baby anymore."  I went on to tell the teacher that it is sometimes hard enough to grasp that Jesus is alive and having him in the form of a statue, especially for a child, made it even harder.  Her teacher wasn't upset at all and actually seemed to really understand and even agree.

Who was that?

On Saturday evenings I have started to go to the prayer room in Floriana.  It is open from 7 to 9pm to all of the evangelical churches and whoever else happens to come in.  Last Saturday we began to pray and sing.  A little bit into our time a man started to pray.  His prayer was extremely encouraging and filled with Scripture.  I have never heard anyone pray so much Scripture for so long.  I could feel the Holy Spirit within me resonating with the familiar words he was speaking and praying.  I eventually got up to leave a little early so that I could get home to tuck the kids into bed.  As I passed the man he had his head bowed and his face covered.  I didn't recognize him at all.  On Sunday morning Vanessa came up to me and said, "do you know who that man was?"  I told her I didn't and asked her the same.  She said no and that in fact no one who was there knew him.  I couldn't believe no one even welcomed him or spoke to him afterwards but she told me he had left before they finished praying.  So who knows, maybe he will come again Saturday and the mystery will be solved, maybe he was a tourist from a cruise ship docked at the harbor.  In his prayer I recall him mentioning there being no coincidence that he happened to walk in.  Maybe he was an angel.  Regardless of who he was, I know that my heart was encouraged and the hearts of other believers were encouraged that night as well. 
-shanna

Expectations

Expectations.  This word is quite heavy if I am going to account for it in terms of weight.  It is a bit scary because it leaves plenty of room for failure.  Why, when we are saved by the grace of God and nothing else, failure is so scary - I don't know.  We all live in a world filled with expectations.  Expectations we set for ourselves, set for us by others.  Expectations we have for others and some we don't even realize we have.  The more expectations are not met the lower they become and pretty soon without us knowing it they have faded to the point of extinction.  I was listening to a podcast by Erwin McManus in which he said that when we accept that we will never change a poverty takes over our soul and we are no longer able to hope.

Sitting in a room with other missionaries in southern Italy I was struck by what one missionary who had been serving in Italy for 20 years said.  When asked what we could pray for he mentioned renewed expectancy.  At some point, the difficulty of working in a spiritually dark environment had begun to slowly rob the precious hope and true expectancy that God is moving.  That he is in the process of stirring and transforming hearts.  The following weekend sitting in a room in Floriana, Malta the same sentiments were being shared amongst Maltese, American and Italian believers. 

But I saw something in both of those places.  There is a willingness to be honest and a desire for hope.  Though threatened by the waves of hopelessness my Redeemer, the Source of hope, is reaching out his hand asking me to look into his eyes.  The expectations swirling around me come to a slow stop as they are stilled by his love.  I am reminded of what it is I am called to and I take my first step, again; with expectancy placed in the only One capable of carrying the weight of such a word.

-shanna

mud and miracles

Following Jesus is a strange mingle of heaven and earth, supernatural and ordinary, mud and miracles.  Life is a step by step process yet when our eyes adjust to the divine light God shines upon us we can't help but notice we have been walking on water.  Yesterday I was praying and feeling quite good that God was extending my vision and reminding me of his power.  So at the end I prayed for my toe.  It has been bothering me and I figured God could quickly fix it and I really didn't feel like going to the doctor. I prayed as energetically as I could and then put on my shoes to go get the kids from school.  As I headed out the door I grabbed the mail.  And there it was, a leaflet for St. Edward's foot clinic.  Spirit and clay, body and soul, visible and invisible all mingled together. 

Today I walked up the hill, through the tunnels filled with graffiti, past the skate park and onto the university campus.  I then proceeded to the international students office and turned in my application - of course only after I paid. As I walked back home I couldn't help but notice this whole other world on campus - the classes, the activities, the social networks.  How, God, do I fit in?  What is it, God, you want to do?  Then I came home and checked my e-mail.  And there it was, a letter explaining the interest of another Christian in campus ministry and some possible ministry opportunities connected to a band, a speaker and the idea of social justice.  Who knows where it all will lead?  It brings a certain peace to know that the loose ends of life are the places we often see God best.  As Paul said, "he is not far from any one of us" (Acts 17).  So I will keep learning to pray and every so often if I look down maybe I won't be surprised to see that I am walking on water.

The student conference in Austria went well. We were welcomed off the plane by big, fluffy snowflakes.  It was beautiful.  For a couple of the students this was their first time to actually see snow falling.  We slept at the local schools, rode the city buses (our conference badges worked as bus passes) to the sports arena for the conference, had smaller classes at a nearby college and also did a lot of walking.  Experiencing 2000 students worshiping together was a highlight and meeting so many believers from so many different places was exciting. I personally spoke with people from Holland, Italy, Greece, England, Norway, Lithuania, Serbia and France.  I even met an American family living in Romania who were Redskins fans.  It is not everyday in Europe that you see the Redskin emblem on a bag.  The Maltese students really liked the worship and meeting people but the food and the sleeping accommodations, especially the showers, were not what they were expecting.  The conference gave Geoff and I a chance to meet others who were doing University ministry and hear their stories and ask them questions. When you hear about what God is doing in so many different places it is really amazing and yet so much of ministry is just ordinary people following Jesus right where they are at.  So I think I have found that the first step for me in being a part of a university ministry here is to show up - I mean to find a way to be on campus as natural as possible and begin looking for the next step God shows me.  So at the moment I am getting the paper work together to apply to the University of Malta.   I am also constantly reminded of the importance of students themselves opening their eyes to what God is doing around them - their impact can not be underestimated.  While at the conference our students had the chance to share with a group of 60 Italian students and each day we heard from a couple of speakers and also spent time in different prayer rooms.  I think the only thing we lacked was sleep.  One day I tried to catch us up on our sleep but only by accident.  We had planned to go to the downtown area of Linz in the afternoon during free time but I got us on the bus that was going up the hill instead of down.  Needless to say we took a 20 minute bus ride through the country and the students fell asleep.  I apologized when we got off at the same place we started but the students said they actually enjoyed it.